The News These Days

Why read headlines that make you want to hide under your bed? At YorkGen, we bring you news that won’t make you question humanity.

You know that feeling when you’ve stuck your head inside a cheese grater, mid-flight, during heavy turbulence? No? Lucky you, but if you’ve read the news recently, I’m sure you can imagine. It’s all a bit like that. Every headline screams doom and gloom: stabbings, assaults, and mysterious disappearances. It's a buffet of bad news with a side order of existential dread. "What's happening to the world?" you wonder, while trying to enjoy your morning coffee without choking on the chaos.

Of course, you’re supposed to stay informed, right? Be aware of your surroundings, keep your finger on the pulse of society. But let's be honest: Has knowing every grim detail of human misfortune ever actually made your life better? I mean, you knowing about that crime across town or the political squabble halfway around the globe - did it change anything? Nope. All it did was send your blood pressure soaring like you were binge-watching a horror movie marathon.

And here's the kicker: maybe, just maybe, all this bad news isn’t accidental. Maybe the daily torrent of despair has a purpose. Maybe it’s designed to make you afraid, make you feel like the world is a dark, unpredictable place. But what’s the end game? To keep you cowering in a corner, clutching your smartphone like it’s a life raft?

Honestly, what’s the point? The world doesn’t improve because you’re aware of all the bad things happening in it. You’re not suddenly Batman, flying into action after reading the latest headline. If anything, you’re more likely to turn into Batman’s moody arch-nemesis, The Joker, sulking about how "people are the worst."

Here’s a wild thought: what if we focused on the good stuff for a change? I know, I know, good news is about as common in the media as unicorns at a dog show. But it's out there. People are still doing incredible, uplifting, downright inspiring things - things that could actually give you a reason to believe in humanity again. But where’s the coverage? Oh, right - buried under a pile of rubbish news.

That’s where we come in. We’ve got a simple rule for our news: good news only. Crazy, right? But it works. Instead of feeding you a steady diet of fear and frustration, we focus on stories that make York a better place - because guess what? There’s plenty of good stuff happening if you care to look.

Call us idealists, but we believe that a little positivity can go a long way. In fact, it’s the only thing that ever has. Inspiration, not fear, is what sparks change. So while the rest of the world might be preoccupied with throwing cheese graters at you, we’ll be over here, serving up something a bit more uplifting. Because York deserves better - and so do you.

A Yorkshire Survival Guide

If you’re new to the UK, Yorkshire accents and slang can sound like an entirely different language. So, here's the YorkGen guide, from "Mardy" to "Gipping".

Every corner of the UK has its own lingo, but when you’re out of your depth, even a simple conversation can feel like you’ve wandered into an alien dialect. For those of you who find yourselves lost in translation from time to time, here’s a handy guide to some of Yorkshire’s finest slang to help you along the way.

First up: Mardy

To quote the Arctic Monkeys, you’re mardy when you’ve got a face on. In other words, you’re in a mood. Mardy is the go-to term for describing that perpetually grumpy neighbour who treats smiling like it's an Olympic sport they're just not qualified for. Or maybe it's your parent on one of those days when the slightest thing sets them off. Basically, if someone’s sulking, huffing, or generally behaving like the world’s out to get them, Yorkshire folk will call them mardy.

In a sentence: "See Julie over there? She’s a right mardy arse."

How to Say Hello: Ey’up!

If you’re trying to start a conversation, it’s a good idea to master a classic Yorkshire greeting. Instead of a simple “hello,” try adding ey’up to your vocabulary. This is a friendly, informal greeting, often accompanied by a pet name or term of endearment like duck or love. It’s warm, welcoming, and used affectionately, so don’t be surprised if you hear it from a complete stranger.

In a sentence:"Ey’up, duck! How’s it going?"

The Yorkshire Comfort: "It’ll Be Reet" (and Gipping)

You’ve nailed the art of saying hello, and you can now spot a mardy person from a mile away. But don’t get too comfortable just yet. Picture this: you’ve been on a night out, and your friend starts turning that delightful shade of green that says, "This isn’t going to end well." If someone leans over and reassures you with, "It’ll be reet, you just need to gip up," don’t freak out - let me decode it for you.

Gip means to throw up, hurl, or - as the Aussies would say - chunder. Yep, yet another word for an activity that already has far too many names. The first time I heard it, I’d been living in Yorkshire for three years and was convinced my co-worker was winding me up. Spoiler: she wasn’t. Somehow, Yorkshire folk have managed to make even vomiting sound quaint. And as for it’ll be reet, that’s the local equivalent of "everything will be okay." You’ll hear this comforting phrase across Yorkshire, though it might morph into reet down south, or even reight if you’re venturing further afield.

In a sentence:"It’ll be reet, you just need to gip up!"

Reflexives: Yersen, Hissen, and More

Now, let’s talk about Yorkshire reflexives - words like yourself, himself, and herself. In Yorkshire, the reflexive pronouns get a unique twist, replacing self with sen. Don’t ask why, just go with it. Look after yourself becomes look after yersen. It might not look like proper English, but it’s charming in its own way.

In a sentence:"Take care of yersen, mate!"

Chuffed and Barmpot: The Spectrum of Emotions

Here’s a word you might already know: chuffed. It means you’re excited, thrilled, over the moon. This one’s a no-brainer, unless you’re a barmpot. And what’s a barmpot, you ask? It’s Yorkshire slang for someone who’s a bit bonkers - a crazy person, but often in a lovable, quirky way. It’s like calling someone a weirdo, but with affection.

In a sentence:"I’m proper chuffed with this cuppa!"

"Don’t mind him, he’s just a bit of a barmpot."

Wrap It Up: Get Yersen Out There!

Now that you’ve got the basics down, it’s time to get yersen out there and start practicing your new vocabulary. Maybe hold off on calling people mardy arses or barmpots right away - settling in with the locals might be a better first step. But don’t worry, it’ll be reet! Before long, you’ll be nattering away like a true Yorkshire native.

York vs Stoke-on-Trent

In the grand scheme of humanity’s endeavor, there are places that stir the soul and those that, quite frankly, seem designed to crush it. Is more art really the solution to Stoke-on-Trent's problems?

Imagine being an artist in Stoke-on-Trent. You must churn out every variation of Lowry, with barely anything else to show for it. The same scene of smokestacks and grey skies, painted over and over. Or Rotherham, or Milton Keynes. Trying to find beauty in these places would require a miracle. And I suppose that's what art is, really: a way of finding beauty in the unbeautiful.

Of course, if you take one look at York, you immediately know you're somewhere that's 1) very, very old, and 2) stunningly beautiful. It makes you wonder where it all went wrong. When did we stop creating beauty and start making everything grey and concrete and lifeless?

Does this shift have more of an impact than we think? There have been various studies conducted to find an answer to this, channeling various demographics, disciplines, and polls. And the answer is always a resounding "yes". Our environment deeply affects us. So, what are we to do when the world around us becomes indifferent to the very sanctity that created it? The answer is simple: art. We need to invest in art like we do in coal-fired power stations, wind turbines, and Prince Charles' teeny little toesy-woesys - oh, excuse me, King Charles' toesy-woesys.

We need to wake up and accept that a world without art, one that doesn't reflect our creativity, is essentially pointless. It seems obvious, doesn't it? But for people like Suella Braverman, Bono, or Lord Sugar, this concept is likely alien. They probably never listen to music; they just talk, do terrible things, drink, and then say something else, which is probably racist. What they need is a quick trip to the jungles of the Amazon, all on the same stupid helicopter, and a hefty dose of ayahuasca for their trouble. Maybe then they’d understand the importance of art.

In the meantime, let the people who do art, do art. We're supposed to have a cushy, touchy-feely Labour government now, but where's the increased investment in art? There's barely a mention of it in the mainstream press - maybe never even at all. Because what people like Bono don't understand is that it's artists who make this world and everything good in it. Every object of aesthetic taste or sensation that makes our lives livable was dreamed up by some artist who you'd be quick to dismiss as a silly little hippy, all while enjoying the fruits of their labour. A bit hypocritical, if you ask me.

And to the people of Rotherham, especially: if you didn't have art and it was all just numbers and statistics, grey metal bike stands, sandwich shops, and gin that tasted like lighter fluid, you'd all be topping yourselves. It's in these places where art is crucial.

For a trip to the future to be bearable - perhaps even an improvement on today - we must keep finding new ways to allow art to flourish. We must let art shape the aesthetic and functional characteristics of the structures of our world, both real and metaphysical. Because if we don't, and we let Bono, the banks, and the town and city councils of this world dictate how everything should be, then the whole world will end up looking a lot less like York and a lot more like Stoke-on-Trent.

Need I say any more?